Completely utterly in love with you
by Sazzynation
Summary: Lily came to wonder why James has stopped asking her out. Oneshot. A/N: Unbeta'd. Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They belong to JK Rowling.


"Evans."

Lily woke up quickly, realizing she had fallen asleep in the Head's common room, while she had studied. A moan escaped from her mouth, as she looked up, to see who had called her name. A boy in her age, with black, ruffled hair, glasses and a lopsided grin was staring at her.

"Slept well?"

Lily rose from her armchair, picking up her books and parchments that were lying all over the table.

"How long have you been standing there, Potter?"

The boy grinned at her, as he helped her picking up her stuff.

"Quite a time now," he replied. "You look so pretty and peaceful when you're sleeping."

Lily blushed at that, and was afraid that James had seen that. He was still grinning, but the expression on his face changed, to look more serious.

"Really, Lily, you should go to sleep. You always sit around here, studying, or do Head Girl duties. You should really--"

"Thank you for your concern, James, but I have tons to do. Three essays has to be done till tomorrow, and--"

"And I can help you out with that", James interrupted. He handed her things over to her.

"But the rounds--"

"I'll take care of that too."

"But–"

"Lily," Said James warningly. Lily sighed, admitted defeat.

"Fine," she finally said. She took the things James was handing over to her, giving him a thankful smile.

A year ago, she wouldn't even have let him talk to her. She had disliked him with passion, hated every second whenever he was around her. But things had changed quite a lot now during their seventh year at Hogwarts, James had changed a lot, and in a good way. At first, Lily was in denial, thinking that it was all just an act for him to get her attention. But since he was a Head Boy, and she had had to spend a lot of time with him during rounds and planning, she had noticed, and accepted the changes. He was no longer an annoying prat, who hexed anyone he crossed, just for the fun of it. He had toned down the pranks a bit, and was spending more time with the studying instead. And the most important thing, he wasn't being arrogant anymore. He had stopped with his rude comments in class, and he hadn't received more than two detentions for three months, which was a good change, for him being James Potter.

There was one thing, though, that he hadn't stopped doing. He always kept ruffling his hair, making it messier than it already was. And Lily had found that she was starting to like it. She still found it extremely annoying, but it was just something with the movement of his hand whenever he ran it through his hair, that was so… distracting. He called it a nervous habit, and that he had tried to stop it, but with no success.

Another thing he had stopped with, and that Lily, surprisingly enough, had found quite annoying, was asking her out. Not once, since they had started their seventh year, had he asked her to go to Hogsmeade with him. And it was bothering her to no end, and she couldn't understand why. And she felt that she needed to know, but she was too afraid to ask. She was afraid what the answer was going to be if she did.

"Lily? Is something bothering you?"

James was looking at her with great concern. Lily looked at him. Her eyes bore into his hazel eyes, and she could feel her heart pound excitedly, while she did.

"Lily?" He repeated.

She bit her under lip nervously, and didn't take her eyes from him. Should she ask him? Would he be angry?

"Oi! Snap out of it, Lily, I'm getting worried here!"

But what if he didn't like her anymore? Maybe that was the reason he had stopped asking her out?

She clutched her books in a firm grip, as she realized that it might be true. And the thought made her feel sad, angry, and even disappointed.

"Are you still with me?"

She finally returned to reality, and dropped her books and parchments, so that it was lying sprawled all over the floor. She glared at him angrily, and he looked startled, wondering what he had done now.

"Lily, what the --?"

"Was it all just a game to you?" She snapped angrily. His eyes widened in surprise.

"What are you talki—?"

"You the biggest idiot on earth, do you really think I'd let you give up so easily?"

James backed away a few steps, frowning.

"What are you talking about? What did I do now?"

Lily was breathing heavily, and she shot angry glances towards him, causing him to back further away from her.

"Nothing!" She yelled. "That's what you've done! Absolutely nothing!"

James stared at her for a moment, and then let out a sigh.

"I don't see why that's a problem, if I haven't done anything, and—" he stopped abruptly. His expression changed slowly. He arched his eyebrows, and let out a small "oh," as if he just realized what it was all about. He swallowed nervously, and ran his hand through his hair, and his breathing became more rapidly. Lily continued to stare at him, waiting for an answer.

"Lily," he began, after a few minutes, when he had managed to catch his breath. He walked towards her, and placed a hand firmly on her cheek. Forcing her to look him in the eye. "Lily," he said again, and her heart began to beat frantically again. She leaned against his touch, enjoyed the feeling of his warm hand against her skin.

"I want to know, James," she said quietly. "Why did you give up on me?"

His hands moved from her cheek, up to her auburn hair, and stroke it softly, before he spoke.

"I didn't," he said in a quiet whisper. "I never gave up on you, Lily, I… It's still all about you." He swallowed again, and closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them again.

"I thought that if I lay low, if I just let you trust me, let you know who I really am, that maybe, just maybe, you'd finally realize that I'm not the person you first thought I was." He let out a nervous laugh. Lily had never seen him this nervous before. It made her smile.

"I mean," James continued, rather hastily. "I know how much you hated me, and—"

"I never hated you, James," Lily interrupted him. "You were just an annoying prat, but I never hated you."

James gave her a small smile. He continued to twirl his fingers through her hair, as he spoke.

"I get that now," he said. "But with your constant rejections, all the horrible things you said when I was trying to be nice… Lily, you have no idea how it felt. You made me hate myself, all because I am so completely, utterly in love with you."

The last thing he said made him blush fiercely. He looked away hastily. Lily, however, felt a pang of guilt suddenly rushing through her body. She could feel her eyes tear up.

"James," she said sadly. He looked at her again.

"I'm sorry," He blurted out. "I shouldn't have said that!"

"James, don't be sorry," she said. She sniffed quietly, and brought her hand up to his face, stroking it softly. "If anyone here should be sorry, it's me." She let out a long sigh. "You have no idea how much I regret all those things I said or did you." She sniffed again. James brushed her tears away with his thumbs. "James, if there's anything I could do to make it up to you, just say the words, and I promise I'll—"

She stopped talking abruptly.

James was kissing her.

And it wasn't that gentle, soft kiss she had experienced before. It was desperate, as if he couldn't control it anymore. And it was wonderful, intoxicating, more than Lily had ever expected in a kiss.

And she loved every second of it.

"Lily," James purred softly in her ear, once they parted.

"Ask me, James," Lily pleaded, as he left soft trail of kisses behind her ear. "Please."

James clutched her shoulders, and looked at her with hunger in his eyes. He was grinning widely, and let out a euphoric sigh of happiness.

"Lily," he breathed. "Do you want to go out with me?"

Lily beamed cheerfully at him, her eyes emerald green eyes glistening with happy tears.

"Yes," she whispered. "Yes, James, I'd love to go out with you."¨

And before she knew it, they were lost in each other's lips again.


End file.
